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The first Arab says, “I was walking along Bloor Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in Canadian Flag attire with a white beard and cowboy hat came boiling out. He said, “I am Captain Canada, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.”I said, “No shit?”God Bless CanadaThis one is compliments of neubergerHere is one that should come with a warning to not drink or eat while reading.“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
 fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
 went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at
 Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you’ve never been in an X-rated. I am an avid bowler, carry a 214 average, and at one time was considering going on the pro tour. I was bowling in three leagues plus rolling in pot games after the leagues, but I was informed that bowling was taking up to much of my time and I wasn't spending enough time with Debbie ("Honestly, you care more about that damned old bowling ball than you do me.") So two leagues and the pot games were gone.Next on the agenda was golf; it went from twice a week to once a month, if I'm lucky. Then came the makeover. She started buying me my clothes ("You can't go around looking like that."); changed my after shave (too tart), my underarm deodorant (too sweet), and my toothpaste ("You need this one, it has whiteners").Things got a bit sticky there for a while when she decided that we would trade in my pick up for a minivan. I put my foot down on that one and things were a bit frosty around the house for a few days. Why did I put up with all that shit? Because Debbie had the face of an.
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